Turn it Off

One thing that teachers definitely possess in abundance is a martyr complex.  Most of the time that manifests itself in really positive ways such as going the extra mile to help a student, or volunteering to take up an activity because we know that our students will love, or desperately need it.  We get into the profession because we want to help students, assist them finding their best selves and making the most of their time at school.  However,  sometimes this can come at massive emotional and physical cost to our own well-being.   Schools are such busy places and most teachers struggle to keep up with the ever growing demands placed on us by school leaders, governments and parents.  But, in order for us to give the best to our students we need to ensure that we look after ourselves.  Most importantly this means we need to put strategies in place to switch off.

This was highlighted to me recently when a friend was celebrating their birthday.  The extended family was around for the first time since restrictions eased and everyone had come together to celebrate being able to meet again and also mark her birthday.  The night was going really well and the birthday girl was having a great time, until a “ping” on the phone came.  What arrived was one of those parent emails that we hate to receive.  You know, the one that lets the teacher know what a horrible and terrible person they are, how dare they treat their child in such a way and how the sky has fallen in and the teacher must do something about it immediately.  Well, there went the fun night!

This reminded me of a lesson I learnt many years ago that changed my evenings and weekend.  I was a habitual phone email checker.  Worse, I was a quick responder as well, believing that I needed to reply immediately.  Added to that, as someone who doesnt like to stew on conflict if an even slightly negative email came in, I couldnt let it go until I had dealt with it.  What that meant was that I become a 24 hour a day 7 day a week teacher; holidays included! But the lesson was a simple sentence; “Jon, nothing is ever urgent”.  I scoffed, laughed if off and said that’s silly of course it is. Until I started to question every email with a simple thought; “if i don’t answer this right now, will the sky fall in for anyone?”.  Over a few months that answer was always no.  Of course, to the sender it might seem urgent,  but when peeled back and considered as to its true urgency the answer remained no.  

Some examples come to mind. 

 – The student who emails you at 7pm to ask what the homework is, or for an extension.  Am I actually helping that student become more independent by replying?  Why hasn’t the student sorted this out in school time? 

 – The leader who emails you with a message that says “can we have a chat tomorrow”.  If you are like me this leads to a night of panic, where I run through a 1000 scenarios of what I might have done now.

– The parent who emails wanting to know why their child is under-performing in class, or received a mark that was lower than expected.  This causing you to question yourself and everything you have ever said or done with that child.

None of these, or any emails I received needed to be answered straight away.

So I put in place a few rules for myself to protect my own, and my family’s well-being.

1) I was not to answer my emails after 5pm or before 8am.   

2) I turned off notifications on my phone for all incoming work emails

3) I set an out of office reply for school holidays.  From 3pm on the last day of term, to 8am on the first day back.

4) If I checked emails on the weekend, I set a reply to delay delivery, and they went first thing Monday morning.  This was so that students and a parents did not think I was always “on call”.

So what did all this lead to? On a really practical side, the first thing it led to was, after a little while, a lack of evening emails.  No longer did parents, students or staff see me as being on call.  This, therefore, reduced the traffic and led to overall less emails generally (and couldn’t we all do with less emails). Further, it gave me back my time.  Suddenly work was under my control.  Sure, I still had to mark, plan and develop during the evening and weekend but I was in control of that.  I could decide how and when I did those things, and I could determine the amount I did at home and at school. It also, gave me back my well-being and family time.  By not checking in those down times, moments weren’t interrupted, things weren’t turned on their head in an instant and life was determined by me, rather than my employment.

But it was not easy and, like any addiction, cold turkey was not the best option.  I began with turning off notifications on my phone. A small step, but it did mean that I was able to control when I checked.  This initially was a lot! But as time went on it did diminish  The second thing that I instantly did was move the work email app further back on my phone.  I think I moved it to page 5, which ensured that I had to be very intentional about checking.   These two small steps began the journey.   Holidays were the next one.  The out-of-office reply took the onus off me to reply to emails, as the sender was getting an instant reply that I would not be replying until school went back.  Sure, I did to a few, but it gave the breathing space we all need in the term breaks.   I think the ideal would be to delete the app off my (your) phone altogether.  Obviously this would result in full control over work emails and your phone becoming purely for your purpose rather than an extension of work.  I’m yet to master that one!

Obviously there is so much more to teacher well-being than simply controlling the flow of your emails, however, it is definitely one cause of tension to new teachers who feel they need to be all things to all people, all the time.

How do you manage the home-work email balance? Let me know by commenting below.