I never really found myself in too much trouble at school. Although probably quite cheeky, I managed to fly under the sun just enough to not get burnt. The time I got into the most trouble was in Kindergarten where for some reason I refused to hold up the letter U when we were doing something to do with the alphabet. This resulted in a trip to the principals office, and as was the time, a quick flick or two of the cane on my backside. Yet, I am sure like many teachers a summons to the principals office still fears me with dread.
What is interesting is that by and large I have been lucky to work with some amazing principals and heads of school who are anything but intimidating. However, somehow that call to their office fills me with anxiety, and fear. Even after 20 years plus of teaching that email, or call for a meeting at the office sets off in me a wave of anxiety and overthinking.
As a beginning teacher, especially if on contract, we are acutely aware of being constantly scrutinised and judged. Desperate to hold the contract, or to gain permanency, beginning teachers work extra hard to ensure that they get things right. Beginning teachers are placed under so pressure from external sources but also from self perception. But, in life, we all make mistakes. It’s what we do next that matters.
As a beginning teacher I found my first principal really intimidating. He was a serious man, with a thick beard and firm hand. Being straight out of university and young, I had my faults; most notably that I thought I was pretty amazing at teaching in comparison to the other teachers. I was just out of university, so surely I was on the cutting edge of good practice and was more skilled than my peers. So, consequently, I made mistakes that landed me in conversation with leadership. It took a few of these “chats” for me to realise that even though I was being rebuked I needed to reflect on my own approach to both how I was teaching and the way I interacted in those situations. More on that later.
In my experience as a beginning teacher it is very hard to stand up to a principal when you disagree. There was an ocassion where I was in a meeting with my principal where, amongst other things, he told me that ‘I was too friendly with the students’. Being a young male teacher this set alarms bell off for me and I was forced to question what he meant. His next words shocked me; “other staff have complained that you get along with the students too well and that they are jealous of that”. What do you say to that? Especially as new teacher. I drew a breath, thought for a moment and responded with “perhaps the issue is not me, but the value other staff place in building positive relationships with students”. He had no come back. However, it was in that moment that I learnt that even as a beginning teacher, and even when it is being confronted by essentially your employer it is important to stand for your convictions. If you feel that you are being unfairly spoken to it is important to stand up for what you believe in. If you fold, you will be unhappy moving forward as you have compromised something that you truly believe in. If that value or conviction you are standing for does not align with the values of the school, then perhaps the issue is not you but the school.
I worked with a Canadian boss once who had an amazing way of somehow telling me off and yet me leaving the meeting thanking him and feeling good. That is definitely the hallmarks of good leadership. Further, in the same school I remember going to the principal one day to admit, prior to him finding out, that I had done something wrong. He looked at me, asked me if I had apologised, to which I responded yes, and sent me on my way. That left me confused as I went in to his office with trepidation. The next day he found me and asked if I was ok. Quizzing him about his gentle response he looked at me, and reflected that I had admitted my mistake, had already sought to rectify the situation and had clearly learnt from the experience. What he was subtly teaching me was to own my mistakes, and make them right prior to them becoming bigger. This is a massive great lesson to learn. We are going to make mistakes, and we are going to get in trouble for something either quite small or quite big. However, if we own it, rectify it, reflect on it, and grow from it then we can move on assuredly.
Owning it can be hard. It is often difficult to acknowledge our mistakes, and even harder to openly admit that we have made them. However owning it applies to the little mistakes we make and to the bigger ones. A long time ago, I learnt this lesson by not owning something I had done wrong at a school. Outside the obvious general fall out, my never owning the mistake still sits with me. I know, in hindsight, that had I stuck my hand up at the time and admitted my fault, that I would have been able to move on more quickly. We often don’t own our mistakes for fear of retribution. This can be the worry about losing a contract, the worry of losing support, the loss of face or the loss of respect from leadership or colleagues. However, we are amazing at catastrophising situations and the consequences of openly admitting our mistakes are nearly always much less than we imagine.
Once we own our errors it is important to make them right. Earlier I mentioned going to the principal to admit something I had done wrong. Prior to that I made sure that the person I had done wrong by had been apologised to. This can be as equally hard as owning the mistakes because in those moments we are dealing with two conflicting human emotions. Of course, rectifying an error is not always a human interaction, however whatever mistake you make do you best to make amends as quickly as possible.
The overused adage FAIL (First Attempt in Learning) rings so true for our mistakes. Like our students we should always be learning and growing as teachers. It is important to take risks in our teaching, to develop, to grow and to become better at our practice. Even after all of these years I still try new things and sometimes these fail dismally. As I write this blog I have a Year 9 class who are working on a new Poetry unit that I have written. It is going reasonably well so far but there have been lessons that I have taught in this unit that have failed dismally. Trying to get the students to show personal connection to poetry has been an interesting experience. Initially I had them looking at poems such a Frost, Whitman etc and I could see they were struggling. These lessons were abject failures. So I changed my approach in regards to building connection and we spent some time looking at Ed Sheeran and Macklemore. The students had greater access and connection to these which in turn enabled them to turn back and have a better understanding of the more traditional poetry types. So my original idea failed, but I had a go, modified things and learnt for the experience. This made me a better teacher, created a better experience for the students and hopefully their finished product is a much more detailed as a result. Take the risk, learn what works, reflect and what doesnt and create new experiences for your students and if it goes horribly wrong, own your mistake and rectify it.
When we make a mistake, be willing to grow from it, both personally and professionally. Most of the moments that have changed the way I teach come from my errors. In my first year as a teacher, I learnt something about students that has stuck with me. A Year 8 girl called Jenny had done something minorly wrong and I handled it they way I had previously been handling all of my behaviour management. What I learnt, and changed the way I taught, was a piece of advice from a wise older Year level coordinator. He used a metaphor that was boys are like dogs and girls are like cats. Boys you can upset and five minutes later they come bouncing back to you like nothing ever happened, whereas girls (the cats) never ever forget. There are countless times I have made mistakes that I have grown from. The important thing is to listen to the advice, reflect on your practice and make changes that suit your style and approach.
One definite deflating aspect is when you are working in school where you seem to constantly find yourself in trouble. This can be due to a huge variety of reasons, but no matter the situation they are sole destroying. If you feel this is unfair it is important that you put steps in place to protect yourself. If you feel you are being unfairly treated in your workplace setting seek help and support. A key thing to do is to keep a record of all negative interactions that you experience. This is particularly the case if you feel you are being singled out unfairly. This needs to occur for everything, even as simple as sitting in the wrong part of the room in assembly, because there were no chairs in your allocated spot. Whilst not suggesting that you potentially take the record any further, it does build a repository for you to document the issue and potentially protect you further down the track. If you are truly concerned keep that record on something that cannot be accessed by your employer. Make sure in these situations you seek help and guidance from a trusted source, either internally or externally.
Finally though a piece of advice that I need to listen to more. Never listen to the opinions and advice of people you wouldn’t ask in the first place. In the early years of teaching especially, lots of people will offer you advice, correct your errors and look to “help”. Only take on board the words of people that you would go to for help in the fist place.
Australian Early Career Teachers Association 